I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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