I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
