Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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