I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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