I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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