So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
