I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
