how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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