Dual....:-)
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
