She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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