I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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