I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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