Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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