Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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