Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
