i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
