I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
