standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
