loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
