Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
