With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
