I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
