It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
