I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
