Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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