im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
