Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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