i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
