ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
