Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
