Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
