I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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