No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
