Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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