He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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