you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
