Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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