Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
