I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
