google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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