That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
