Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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