You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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