you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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