it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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