You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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