anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
