Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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