she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
