apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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